Toddlers Are A holes

  • Filename: toddlers-are-a-holes.
  • ISBN: 9780761185758
  • Release Date: 2015-04-07
  • Number of pages: 176
  • Author: Bunmi Laditan
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing



Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.

Toddlers Are A holes

  • Filename: toddlers-are-a-holes.
  • ISBN: 9780761185642
  • Release Date: 2015-04-07
  • Number of pages: 176
  • Author: Bunmi Laditan
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing



Presents a humorous guide to raising a toddler, covering such topics as feeding, potty-training, tantrums, managing the holidays, and "how not to die inside." --Publisher's description.

I Heart My Little A Holes

  • Filename: i-heart-my-little-a-holes.
  • ISBN: 9780062341617
  • Release Date: 2014-04-08
  • Number of pages: 304
  • Author: Karen Alpert
  • Publisher: Harper Collins



Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Toddlers Are A holes

  • Filename: toddlers-are-a-holes.
  • ISBN: 0990592898
  • Release Date: 2014-10-10
  • Number of pages: 140
  • Author: Sopha King Tyerd
  • Publisher:



Toddler A**holery is a normal part of human development. It's like puberty but focuses mainly on throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. Reader, never ever blame yourself for your toddler being an a**hole to you. Toddlers are beautiful, kind, and wonderful to people who are not in primary custody of them. There's a reason toddlers are at their peak cuteness: it's because nature knows that toddlerhood is when you are most likely to take your child to a public park and leave them there with a note that says, "I'm a little $hit and they couldn't take it anymore." Hide in the bathroom and read this hilarious, satirical guide for instant comic relief from cutting toast into perfect triangles.

Assholes

  • Filename: assholes.
  • ISBN: 9780385535687
  • Release Date: 2012-10-30
  • Number of pages: 240
  • Author: Aaron James
  • Publisher: Anchor



In the spirit of the mega-selling On Bullshit, philosopher Aaron James presents a theory of the asshole that is both intellectually provocative and existentially necessary. What does it mean for someone to be an asshole? The answer is not obvious, despite the fact that we are often personally stuck dealing with people for whom there is no better name. Try as we might to avoid them, assholes are found everywhere—at work, at home, on the road, and in the public sphere. Encountering one causes great difficulty and personal strain, especially because we often cannot understand why exactly someone should be acting like that. Asshole management begins with asshole understanding. Much as Machiavelli illuminated political strategy for princes, this book finally gives us the concepts to think or say why assholes disturb us so, and explains why such people seem part of the human social condition, especially in an age of raging narcissism and unbridled capitalism. These concepts are also practically useful, as understanding the asshole we are stuck with helps us think constructively about how to handle problems he (and they are mostly all men) presents. We get a better sense of when the asshole is best resisted, and when he is best ignored—a better sense of what is, and what is not, worth fighting for.

Three Year Olds Are A holes

  • Filename: three-year-olds-are-a-holes.
  • ISBN: 1941065171
  • Release Date: 2016-06-01
  • Number of pages:
  • Author: Sarah Fader
  • Publisher: Osiris Ink



Once upon a time Sarah Fader wrote a blog post called 3-Year-Olds Are Assholes. It went viral on HuffPost Parents with over 400,000 shares on Facebook. This book tells the story of three-year-old Samantha, who is determined to make a rainbow. It features illustrations by Shari Ryan.

Fingers for Lunch

  • Filename: fingers-for-lunch.
  • ISBN: 0316377996
  • Release Date: 2016-04-05
  • Number of pages: 12
  • Author: Brandt Lewis
  • Publisher: LB Kids



A unique die-cut format provides hours of finger-play fun for parents and toddlers! For lunch today I have a fine treat: five little fingers for Monster to eat! In this silly playtime rhyme, young readers will burst into giggles as they fit their fingers through die-cut holes and make them wiggle and squirm while a hungry little monster tries to gobble up every last bite! Parents play the part of the monster and "eat up" their laughing little ones fingers, turning the pages to make the holes disappear one by one until there are no wigglers left. Then start back at the beginning, this time with mom or dad's fingers in the holes--if they're willing to risk it!

Down in the Jungle

  • Filename: down-in-the-jungle.
  • ISBN: 1846431344
  • Release Date: 2007-06-01
  • Number of pages: 16
  • Author:
  • Publisher: Child's Play International



Animals get ready for a big dance in the jungle. Features die-cut pages.

The Ants Go Marching

  • Filename: the-ants-go-marching.
  • ISBN: 1846431093
  • Release Date: 2007
  • Number of pages: 16
  • Author:
  • Publisher: Childs Play International Limited



One by one the ants march to get to shelter from the rain, in this illustrated version of the classic children's song. On board pages.

The Toddler s Busy Book

  • Filename: the-toddler-s-busy-book.
  • ISBN: 9781442404861
  • Release Date: 2009-12-15
  • Number of pages: 508
  • Author: Trish Kuffner
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster



The Toddler’s Busy Book should be required reading for anyone raising or teaching toddlers, it is written with warmth and sprinkled with humor and insight. Toddler's Busy Book contains 365 screen-free activities (one for each day of the year) for one-and-a-half- to three-year-olds using things found around the home. It shows parents, babysitters, and daycare providers how to: —Save money by making your own supplies of “magic mud,” all-purpose bubble solution, homemade face paint, edible egg-yoke paint (for cookies), peanut butter playdough, and ornamental frosting. —Get organized for your toddler by keeping a “baker’s box” full of unbreakable cooking tools in the kitchen your child can help with or play with; make a “busy bag” full of toys and stuffed animals for your child when you take him to the doctor or hairdresser. Or make a “crazy can” full of stuff that’s fun to play with so when you don’t know what to do next, just reach for the crazy can. —Prevent boredom during even the longest stretches of rainy or cold weather with ideas for indoor play like “hide the beanbag,” or making a homemade sandbox (fill a cardboard box or plastic baby bathtub with puffed wheat cereal or foam packing peanuts), or suspend balloons from the ceiling and give your child a plastic baseball bat or a gift-wrap tube to bat the balloons, or set up a “tickle trunk” to hold a variety of hats, wigs, masks and costume jewelry and princess crowns for imaginative play. —Get your child moving by making a “toddler obstacle course,” or by paint-dancing, or by holding a “mini olympics,” or by dancing (when the music starts) and falling down (when the music stops), or Jell-O jumping (in the bathtub). —Learn how to expand your child’s arts and crafts horizons by learning how to make a “popcorn picture” (with popcorn, construction paper, and a glue stick); a “gift-wrap collage”; fingerpaint in the bathtub, or make an “apple smile” (with a red apple and peanut butter). —Help children learn to have fun in the kitchen making fruit popsicles, zoo sandwiches, “mud balls” (using peanut butter and honey), “ants on a log” (using celery, peanut butter and raisins), and peanut butter sculptures (they’re fun to make and fun to eat). —Get your child started with music and rhythm by making a coffee can drum, a kazoo (starting with an empty toilet paper roll), or inviting your child to “strum” on corrugated cardboard with a spoon, —Teach your child about colors, numbers, letters and body parts: cut an apple open and count the seeds—then eat the apple slices, or play the color game in the supermarket (identifying fruits and vegetables of different colors), or ask your child to point to different body parts as you name them, or pour sand into a pie plate and ask your child to draw letters in the sand. —Celebrate holidays and birthdays with special projects and activities by making Halloween face paint, a Thanksgiving Turkey (starting with a small paper plate), a “Jack o’ Orange, a “stars and stripes” sponge painting, a shamrock necklace, a birthday memory book, valentine cookies, or a Rudolph sandwich. —Make car trips and walks around the block more fun by teaching your child nursery rhymes and finger plays, including “Five Little Monkeys” (use fingers to indicate the number of monkeys), or recite “Walking Through the Jungle” while taking a walk and miming the actions; or, recite a familiar nursery rhyme and pause when you come to the rhyming word; see if your child can fill in the blank. —Teach your child practical skills like picking up all the stuffed animals (or toys) on the floor and throwing them into a laundry basket (you can say, “Let’s play “basket bear!”) or washing vegetables (it’s like washing your hands), or by washing the floor with a sponge and soapy water in a bucket (which turns your child into your helper). —Lure your child to bed at night with a “jungle safari” which involves searching for stuffed animals in the bedroom with a flashlight.

Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel

  • Filename: mike-mulligan-and-his-steam-shovel.
  • ISBN: 0547350570
  • Release Date: 2010-06-28
  • Number of pages: 48
  • Author: Virginia Lee Burton
  • Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt



A modern classic that no child should miss. Since it was first published in 1939, Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel has delighted generations of children. Mike and his trusty steam shovel, Mary Anne, dig deep canals for boats to travel through, cut mountain passes for trains, and hollow out cellars for city skyscrapers -- the very symbol of industrial America. But with progress come new machines, and soon the inseparable duo are out of work. Mike believes that Mary Anne can dig as much in a day as one hundred men can dig in a week, and the two have one last chance to prove it and save Mary Anne from the scrap heap. What happens next in the small town of Popperville is a testament to their friendship, and to old-fashioned hard work and ingenuity.

Cows in the Kitchen

  • Filename: cows-in-the-kitchen.
  • ISBN: 1406326321
  • Release Date: 2010
  • Number of pages: 32
  • Author: June Crebbin
  • Publisher:



The cows are in the kitchen, the ducks on the dresser, the pigs in the pantry, the hens on the hatstand and the sheep on the sofa While the farmer snoozes in the haystack, the animals are having a ball in his farmhouse

Peck Peck Peck

  • Filename: peck-peck-peck.
  • ISBN: 0763689467
  • Release Date: 2016-08-02
  • Number of pages: 32
  • Author: Lucy Cousins
  • Publisher: Candlewick Press (MA)



"Not only has irresistible charm but in Cousins s signature fashion, there s a lot to learn. . . . There s a world of interactive enjoyment here." "Booklist" (starred review) Little woodpecker has just learned to peck. He s having so much fun that he peck-peck-pecks right through a door and has a go at everything on the other side. Children will be drawn to the young bird s exuberance at learning a new skill and ready to snuggle along at day s end for a night of sweet dreams."

The Wheels on the Bus

  • Filename: the-wheels-on-the-bus.
  • ISBN: 1904550665
  • Release Date: 2007-03-01
  • Number of pages: 16
  • Author: Annie Kubler
  • Publisher: Childs Play International Limited



In this version of the classic song, the wheels go round, the wipers go swish, the driver says "Tickets Please!" and so on, all around the town.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

  • Filename: the-very-hungry-caterpillar.
  • ISBN: 0590652400
  • Release Date: 1998
  • Number of pages: 26
  • Author: Eric Carle
  • Publisher:



Features a cute and cuddly caterpillar toy.

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