Confessions of a Scary Mommy

  • Filename: confessions-of-a-scary-mommy.
  • ISBN: 9781451673784
  • Release Date: 2012-04-03
  • Number of pages: 176
  • Author: Jill Smokler
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster



Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

  • Filename: confessions-of-a-scary-mommy.
  • ISBN: 9781451673777
  • Release Date: 2012-04-03
  • Number of pages: 168
  • Author: Jill Smokler
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster



An irreverent assessment of the dark side of parenting combines original essays and anonymous confessions as posted on the ScaryMommy.com site to encourage women to embrace their own parenting approaches without competing with other moms who only seem to have everything under control.

Motherhood Comes Naturally and Other Vicious Lies

  • Filename: motherhood-comes-naturally-and-other-vicious-lies.
  • ISBN: 9781476728384
  • Release Date: 2013-04-09
  • Number of pages: 176
  • Author: Jill Smokler
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster



From the New York Times bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and the wildly popular blog ScaryMommy.com, a hilarious new essay collection that exposes the “vicious lies” that every parent is told. Newly pregnant and scared out of her mind, Jill Smokler lay on her gynecologist’s examination table and was told the biggest lie she’d ever heard in her life: “Motherhood is the most natural thing in the world.” Instead of quelling her nerves like that well intentioned nurse hoped to, Jill was instead set up for future of questioning exactly what DNA strand she was missing that made the whole motherhood experience feel less than natural to her. Wonderful? Yes. Miraculous? Of course. Worthwhile? Without a doubt. But natural? Not so much. Jill’s first memoir, the New York Times bestseller Confessions of a Scary Mommy, rocketed to national fame with its down and dirty details about life with her three precious bundles of joy. Now Jill returns with all-new essays debunking more than twenty pervasive myths about motherhood. She’s here to give you what few others will dare: The truth.

Lost in Suburbia A Momoir

  • Filename: lost-in-suburbia-a-momoir.
  • ISBN: 9781101622230
  • Release Date: 2013-04-02
  • Number of pages: 272
  • Author: Tracy Beckerman
  • Publisher: Penguin



It’s a suburban jungle out there When syndicated columnist Tracy Beckerman trades in her TV job and cool NYC existence for the New Jersey suburbs, she doesn’t expect to also trade in her entire identity. But her new life as a stay-at-home mom knocks her for a loop in more ways than one. From the embarrassment of being ticketed while driving in her bathrobe to the challenge of making friends in the land of big hair and minivans, Beckerman shares her struggles with self-deprecating humor as she endeavors to reclaim her cool. Beckerman reveals the universal trials, tribulations, and triumphs of every mom who has to figure out how to stay sane while fishing Barbie heads out of the toilet; how to laugh when your kid asks the fat cop at the doughnut shop if he’s having a baby; and how to look good when your post-baby butt is so big you want to hang a “Caution: Wide Load” sign behind you. At once irreverent, hilarious, and keenly observed, Lost in Suburbia is about what you give up to become a mother—and what you get back.

Confessions of a PTA Mafia Mom

  • Filename: confessions-of-a-pta-mafia-mom.
  • ISBN: 9780987130921
  • Release Date: 2011-05-30
  • Number of pages:
  • Author: Elsie Love
  • Publisher: Dare Empire



Elaine Jackerson has found herself in quite a predicament. Her husband, Bob, is sleeping with his secretary, her daughter is experimenting in the backseat with random boys, and her eight year old wants nothing to do with her.In an attempt to get herself out of her midlife rut, Elaine joins the Herschel Grammar School PTA. Little does she know, Suni Calverson, the current president has handpicked her to be the newest member of the group. As soon as the ink is dry on the signup sheet, Elaine is thrust into a world that she never knew existed. A world where the PTA gets things done with blackmail, bribes, threats and quite possibly guns. After stumbling across her husband and his secretary humping in his office, Elaine turns to the only friends she has: Suni and her henchmen. They convince her to let them "take care" of Bob. Elaine agrees to the plan, as long as no one dies. Unfortunately for Elaine, Suni has other plans. Before Elaine can sleep off her Mojitos, her children have been kidnapped and Bob has disappeared. Afraid that Elaine will go back on her word, Suni forces her onto a plane to hide out in a posh suite in Las Vegas that belongs to the famous French landscape photographer Gerard Ilg. Determined to get her children back and avoid jail, Elaine spends her time in Sin City vacillating between planning her escape and trying to stay out of the arms of the much younger, very hot, very Hawaiian limo driver Benjamin Oliana. Does he care for Elaine, or is she just another notch on his Billabong belt? What about her famous host who keeps encouraging her to "find her passion"? Gerard is a man of the world-a man that knows Suni. Can he be trusted? More importantly, can she sort out her feelings, take down the PTA Mafia, and go home to her children?

I Heart My Little A Holes

  • Filename: i-heart-my-little-a-holes.
  • ISBN: 9780062341617
  • Release Date: 2014-04-08
  • Number of pages: 304
  • Author: Karen Alpert
  • Publisher: Harper Collins



Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Moms Who Drink and Swear

  • Filename: moms-who-drink-and-swear.
  • ISBN: 9781101650943
  • Release Date: 2013-04-02
  • Number of pages: 336
  • Author: Nicole Knepper
  • Publisher: Penguin



If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Science of Parenthood

  • Filename: science-of-parenthood.
  • ISBN: 9781631529481
  • Release Date: 2015-11-17
  • Number of pages: 180
  • Author: Norine Dworkin-McDaniel
  • Publisher: She Writes Press



Based on Norine Dworkin-McDaniel and Jessica Ziegler’s popular illustrated humor blog, Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations takes the duo’s mix of high-brow science and low-brow humor to a whole new level. Using their trademark brand of quirky, witty humor, and bolstered by all kinds of slick graphs and spiffy flow charts, Dworkin-McDaniel and Ziegler dig deep into the core sciences—biology, chemistry, physics and mathematics—to help moms and dads everywhere solve for “y.” As in, “Y” is my child doing that . . . that . . . THING? And please, dear lord, is there a way to make them stop!? Anyone who’s ever wondered why the kid who plays Minecraft for hours can’t sit still for ten damn minutes to finish a math worksheet; who’s marveled at how their toddler always picks he most inopportune moment to poop; or who’s despaired of ever showering, sleeping, or finding a moment’s peace again will find this book a hilarious, enlightening, and relatable read.

Parenting Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

  • Filename: parenting-illustrated-with-crappy-pictures.
  • ISBN: 9781460309865
  • Release Date: 2013-04-01
  • Number of pages: 224
  • Author: Amber Dusick
  • Publisher: Harlequin



"The drawings aren't very good, Mama." —Crappy Boy, age 5 Of course you love being a parent. But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up. This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.

Confessions of a Domestic Failure

  • Filename: confessions-of-a-domestic-failure.
  • ISBN: 9781488022883
  • Release Date: 2017-05-01
  • Number of pages: 400
  • Author: Bunmi Laditan
  • Publisher: MIRA



Instant Bestseller From the creator of The Honest Toddler comes a fiction debut sure to be a must-read for moms everywhere There are good moms and bad moms—and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mommy-blog-empire maven she idolizes, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mom she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley's story reminds moms that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.

Get the Behavior You Want Without Being the Parent You Hate

  • Filename: get-the-behavior-you-want-without-being-the-parent-you-hate.
  • ISBN: 9781936303717
  • Release Date: 2014-08-18
  • Number of pages: 1200
  • Author: Deborah Gilboa
  • Publisher: Demos Medical Publishing



Gilboa offers a roadmap of quick concrete ways to help parents use everyday opportunities to create respectful, responsible, and resilient children.

Listen to Your Mother

  • Filename: listen-to-your-mother.
  • ISBN: 9780698157644
  • Release Date: 2015-04-07
  • Number of pages: 256
  • Author: Ann Imig
  • Publisher: Penguin



Irreverent, thought-provoking, hilarious, and edgy: a collection of personal stories celebrating motherhood, featuring #1 New York Times bestselling authors Jenny Lawson and Jennifer Weiner, and many other notable writers. Listen to Your Mother is a fantastic awakening of why our mothers are important, taking readers on a journey through motherhood in all of its complexity, diversity, and humor. Based on the sensational national performance movement, Listen to Your Mother showcases the experiences of ordinary people of all racial, gender, and age backgrounds, from every corner of the country. This collection of essays celebrates and validates what it means to be a mother today, with honesty and candor that is arrestingly stimulating and refreshing. The stories are raw, honest, poignant, and sometimes raunchy, ranging from adoption, assimilation to emptying nests; first-time motherhood, foster-parenting, to infertility; single-parenting, LGBTQ parenting, to special-needs parenting; step-mothering; never mothering, to surrogacy; and mothering through illness to mothering through unsolicited advice. Honest, funny, and heart-wrenching, these personal stories are the collective voice of mothers among us. Whether you are one, have one, or know one, Listen to Your Mother is an emotional whirlwind that is guaranteed to entertain, amuse, and enlighten.

Sh tty Mum

  • Filename: sh-tty-mum.
  • ISBN: 9781444755213
  • Release Date: 2012-09-13
  • Number of pages: 224
  • Author: Mary Ann Zoellner
  • Publisher: Hachette UK



Children. They want everything and they want it now. They don't care about killing your sex life or the way they add six inches to the length of your breasts, and they sure as hell don't give a sh*t that you only slept four hours last night. Any person, physical need or dream that takes you away from them for even five seconds is their natural enemy and must be crushed with loud, endless cries. This book is about how to survive babies, and what they grow into: children. It's about shortcuts and parenting with 40% effort. You'll learn how to ignore, avoid, threaten and lie in easy-to-skim-while-locked-in-the-bathroom mini-chapters, plus valuable 'How to Fake it' tips to help you through those days when there isn't enough sh*tty advice in the world. We get you. We get your little dictators. And we can help.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

  • Filename: battle-hymn-of-the-tiger-mother.
  • ISBN: 9781408813164
  • Release Date: 2011-01-11
  • Number of pages: 256
  • Author: Amy Chua
  • Publisher: A&C Black



A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what Chinese parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it... Amy Chua's daughters, Sophia and Louisa (Lulu) were polite, interesting and helpful, they were two years ahead of their classmates in maths and had exceptional musical abilities. But Sophia and Lulu were never allowed to attend a sleepover, be in a school play, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, and not be the #1 student in every subject (except gym and drama). And they had to practice their instruments for hours every day, as well as in school breaks and on family holidays. The Chinese-parenting model certainly seemed to produce results. But what happens when you do not tolerate disobedience and are confronted by a screaming child who would sooner freeze outside in the cold than be forced to play the piano? In Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua relates her experiences raising her children the 'Chinese way', and how dutiful, patient Sophia flourished under the regime and how tenacious, hot-tempered Lulu rebelled. It is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It's also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how they made it to Carnegie Hall. It was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how you can be humbled by a thirteen-year-old. Witty, entertaining and provocative, this is a unique and important book that will transform your perspective of parenting forever.

The BIGGER Book of Parenting Tweets

  • Filename: the-bigger-book-of-parenting-tweets.
  • ISBN: 0996226206
  • Release Date: 2015-04-10
  • Number of pages: 216
  • Author: Kim Bongiorno
  • Publisher:



Following the enormous success of their first book, "The Big Book of Parenting Tweets," Science of Parenthood and Kate Hall are back with "The BIGGER Book of Parenting Tweets," featuring EVEN MORE of the funniest parents on Twitter! Venturing deep into the Twitterverse in search of even more hilarity, those intrepid editors discovered more than FIFTY of the funniest comedians who just happen to be parents. Together with still more of Science of Parenthood's signature cartoons and special "behind the tweets" stories, Book Two is BIGGER ... it's BOLDER ... and gosh darn it, people LIKE it! Praise for The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: "The perfect book for parents who want -- NEED -- to laugh, but don't have time to sit down and read a daunting book. Grab it, head to the bathroom and lock the door until they find you!" - Jill Smokler, author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy "The Big Book of Parenting Tweets dishes up bite-size nuggets of funny. Impossible to read just one." - Jen Mann, author of "People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges" "This book is HILARIOUS. Being a parent is a frustrating, hilarious, weird, wild experience. This book captures some of the best of our snark. You need it. You do." - Nicole Knepper, author of "Moms Who Drink and Swear" A terrific read, featuring some of the funniest (and most honest) parents in the Twitterverse... my go-to gift for new parents! - Johanna Stein, author of "How Not To Calm A Child On A Plane and Other Parenting Advice from a Questionable Source" Here is just a peek at some of what you'll find inside: I don't believe in spanking my children, but I do believe in flipping them off from the other room. - Jewel Nunez (@OneFunnyMummy) Me prying a toy hammer from my 4yo: "Stop. It's not hammer time!" Parenting is lonely when nobody's there to hear your outdated references. - Full Metal Mommy (@FullMetalMommy) The saddest thing I have ever seen is watching my son trying to carve a Playstation 3 out of a giant lump of coal on Christmas. - Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) All restaurants should have a $200 cover charge for babies. - Rodney Lacroix (@Moooooog35) No, honey. The deer is just sleeping. They tied him down so he wouldn't fall off the top of their Ford Explorer. - Linda Doty (@LindaInDisguise)

DMCA - Contact